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LaMortis - House of Darkness Review

February 14th 2014



Forget the roses, chocolates, cards, and snuggles in front of the television. This Valentine's day gaze into your partners eyes as they widen in fear, hold their hand as they squeeze it in terror and take a romantic candle lit walk  through a house filled with vampires.  Terror Attractions visited L'aMortis on the 14th of February to celebrate St. Valentine's day in the most unconventional way. 

Inside L'aMortis- House of Darkness, vampires from around the world gather in celebration of ‘Lupercalia’.  Greeted by Professor Vivian Van Helsing in the Great Hall of the house, we are given a candle and instructed not to drop it - a difficult task with hands akin to a pair of wet fish.  However, the candle being our only source of light through the darkness, we managed to cling onto it tightly, very tightly. 

As a couple we venture forwards crawling through the brick fireplace, we find ourselves lost in the middle of this blood sucking festival without any garlic, or holy water - the only water around was the sweat dripping from our clammy hands. Complete darkness made it  difficult for us to see where any predators were lurking, but that didn't stop them from finding us.  L'aMortis is a maze of elongated corridors, slanted rooms, crawl spaces and tight squeezes, all filled with scare after scare.  There were so many jumps throughout the attraction it was hard to catch your breath. The scares came left right and centre in this attraction and some were very intense.  On a couple of occasions we found ourselves almost dropping to the floor!  Hesitating as we entered each room we found we were fighting with each other as to who would go first, and ended up clinging together stripped of any masculinity.

A scene which we recall vividly was encountering an enormous, dominating 7ft tall creature, whose extremely long hooked hands flailed wildly attempting to reel us in.  In a panic we attempted to get past him by adopting some weird squatting position and quickly flustered onwards like two terrified ducks.  There  seemed to be ALOT of actors, all of them superb in their roles. It was difficult to tell how many but the amount of scares were fantastic. The costume and makeup was amazing,  although some of it was lost in the darkness, all of it was very visual as expected from AtmosFEAR! Scare Entertainment attractions. The only criticism is that the final scene was quite anti- climatic in comparison to the extreme scares in the rest of the attraction, this can be narrowed down to a few points, either we are all so used of being chased out with a chainsaw, or there is something missing  in the final room; the actor was high up on a platform, and it was something to "watch" rather than be scared of.  However  it's fantastic for a theatrical attraction and that final scene is a small dent in what was again an amazing night of scares from AtmosFear! Scare Entertainment.

So if you are the knight in shining armour, the damsel in distress, or even a bit of both, L'aMortis can guarantee you and your partner a Valentine's Day to remember - but it's not promising to get you laid.

                                                                                                                  4.5 / 5 Stars

By Paul Hornby & Brett Jones


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