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Review of Tulley's ShocktoberFest on 10th October 2013

Tulleys shocktoberfest

Have you ever had one of them nights when you feel like you have found the "Necronomicon", Book of the Dead, No? Yes? Well I have! Legend has it that once the translation of the said text is read out, a profound evil is released........That evil is now an annual event known as Tulleys Shocktober Fest!

Post Puss-oozing protagonists cross paths with perilous punters (try saying that after just coming out of Woodshock or the Cellar with your heart racing at 200 beats per minute).

Now, considering that much of my pre youth was invested in films starring Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, and Arnold Schwarzeneggar, that said, the closest I came to watching a truly scary horror flick was from behind the sofa also I must say I have never read any Steven King stories, short or otherwise (here endeth the confession).

Thus understanding horror, albeit what makes a good terror attractions, mazes or film from my Youth to the Present, has been a progressive work in progress that I now feel justifies me to knowing what makes a jolly good terror attraction or event work.

I can appreciate that there are masters of the genre that know their craft and thus do it well but are not to experienced with crowd control or event management.

And maybe, as I digress....... you ask 'What has this got to do with Tulleys Shocktober Fest?'

Well I can say without doubt that Tulleys Shocktober Fest has the full package. What I saw on my visit there was a master-class in how to create a terror attraction without compromise!

Entertainment, food, music and some serious frights and a well managed crowd control management team, what more could one ask for, put sloth from the Goonies with a chainsaw in the mix and I'd shout bingo.

Where the 'from hell' do I begin? Well for starts I'm not going to describe every step of every terror maze at Tulleys Shocktober Fest. This would simply detract from the experience and spoil the spirit of what makes Tulleys Shockober Fest one of the premier Halloween terror attractions in UK.

I shall now endeavour to further explain.

Comparing Tulleys Shocktober Fest to other similar terror attractions would be like comparing chicken cottage, red rooster or Halal Ali's peri peri emporium to the grand ol'house of Colonel Sanders and his secret recipe of herbs and spice cluckers...Again, I digress..........Shocktober stands alone, a brand in it's own right!

Even if I try to describe the level of awesomeness of this years scare mazes...I probably still be lacking in my description. So all I can say is: IT. WILL. BLOW. YOUR. FREAKING. MIND.

Six haunted attractions, entertaining side shows and an interestingly gruesome yet clinical aftershock bar straight out of the cult channel four hospital comedy 'Garth Marenghi's Darkplace' is well worth a visit just to see the surreal medical décor and test-tube shots of alcohol.

Of the six, the Haunted Hay ride is worth a ride just for the accompanying soundtrack, all the single ladies or should I say nuns, put your hands up meets deliverance style banjos meets Halloween psycho.

With the 'I am Legend'-esque Cellar (be warned, this IS SCARY), Cornfield surrounded surreal Woodshock mish mash maze of rooms which felt like they went on forever (which I must admit worked unnervingly well and was my favourite, kudos Agent Hill) to the uneven floors and mime clowns in dinner suits of the Twisted maze, I was in awe.

Tulleys the cellar

                                                                                           One of the lovely creatures from "The Cellar"

The HELL - Ements maze with its hoods and ropes and Creepy cottage maze rounding off the evening was unnerving satisfaction to say the least.

Having so many favourite scenes and listing them all down would be too much for a mere two page review. The fact that at no time did I feel rushed or coerced into moving along like a steady stream of cattle at a MacDonalds hoe down is testament to Tulleys Shocktober Fest's expertise in setting up an exceedingly good value for money and well organised terror attraction.

If you're reading this, I hope I have salivated your taste buds enough to say; “I need to pay homage”.

Along with the completely sensational new scare scenes and sequences, this terror attraction will have you laughing with all the shock elements, quick quips (of the street performers), scary moments and dry humour normally associated with a good terror attraction akin and comparable only, to watching the likes of Louie Walsh at this year's Xfactor and his 'desires' to cultivate the current bunch of cough and drop choirboys into a cohesive collective.

sexy nurse                                                                             Sexy Nurse ensuring we're all in good heath..Just a little prick

Shocktober goes from strength to strength and I commend them for successfully trying to push the boundaries of horror themed entertainment every year.

Every character in all 6 of the terror mazes play their role perfectly. Esmerelda, the Gin swigging hideous nurse, you are a delight as always! Chris and last but not least Stuart, you guys have taken a near perfect prior years format, tweaked it, introduced new scenes and characters and made it even better.

 Terror Attractions Tulleys farm

                                                                                 The Terror Attractions team with the amazing Esmerelda

The introduction of a new maze uses the surrounding Cornfield as the back drop to some of the most incongruous phantasmagoric shadowy settings I have ever seen and is outstanding in my view showing true morbid vision.

It's refreshing to find a terror attractions that hasn't already been beaten to death like a puss-oozing zombie that crosses paths with a KFC franchise and as I escaped from each terror maze (a cathartic fool), I became increasingly overwhelmed.

Terror Attractions team with Stuart Beare Tulleys               Terror Attractions team with Stuart Beare from Tulleys (Photograph by Stephen Candy)


I was resided in the fact that I was made to feel scared and disorientated, yet still as enthused as a hungry baby in a topless bar (wanting more, if you get my drift).

Tulleys Shocktober Fest is on from 5th October to 2nd November. Go See it, now!


Jay Jay, Terror Attractions


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